Call Me By Your Name

Call Me By Your Name - The Fervour and Fleetingness of First Love

 "A handsome young knight is madly in love with a princess, and she too is in love with him, though she seems not to be entirely aware of it. Despite the friendship that blossoms between them, or perhaps because of that very friendship, the young knight finds himself so humbled and speechless that he is totally unable to bring up the subject of his love. Until one day he asks the princess point-blank: Is it better to speak or to die?”

 "Is it better to speak or to die?" - This is the question that Elio - and everyone suffering from the pains of falling in love - asks himself. Speak the truth about our feelings and face the consequences of possible heartbreak, or repress them, never knowing what would have happened if we had revealed them, sparing our hearts of any pain or feeling. In Call Me By Your Name, we follow Elio - played by who I predict will be one of the greatest actors of the near future, Timothée Chalamet - a 17-year-old Jewish boy from a wealthy family of intellectuals, as he falls in love for Oliver - played by the outstanding Armie Hammer - a 24-year-old man, also Jewish, who is assisting Elio's father in his research, with the backdrop of the bohemian and lethargic atmosphere of (Somewhere in) Northern Italy. We are invited by Luca Guadagnino to follow (or spy on) their relationship and the evolution of this dilemma that spawns from an unlikely and beautiful friendship between the two. This is a love story between two people, and I want to stress this: I hesitate to call or label this as a "gay film" since there isn't any issue treated in this film that is inherent to the gay community, it is simply a beautiful love story between two people who happen to be of the same gender, and it's approached as such, with the same respect as a love story between two people of the opposite gender. After all, isn't love simply love, no matter the gender?

 "L'usurpateur". Summer 1983, Somewhere in Northern Italy.
 This is how we are introduced to this tale. The arrival of Oliver to Elio's family summer house - the usurper arrives. He will stay in Elio's room for the summer, occupying his personal space, while Elio stays in a room next door. In the beginning, their relationship seems distant and curt. Oliver is arrogant and somewhat hostile, with his icy cold blue eyes that seem to pierce into Elio's soul (and ours). "Later" - his farewell of choice, a short, dismissive and almost contemptuous one. This arrogance irritates Elio, as he complains about Oliver to his parents. But is this just annoyance? Or the start of an obsession? He can't seem to shake him off from inside his head. He's attracted to him, physically and intellectually. His books and his body, with firm muscles like the statues researched by his father, and his nonchalant nature. He feels jealous when he sees a girl kissing Oliver. He wants to be with him, near him, talk to him, converse about something. But he's afraid.
 We follow Elio during his lackadaisical summer days as he spends his days writing, transcribing music - waiting for the summer to end. However, when he falls for Oliver, the end of summer becomes his most dreaded fear - a deadline for their romance. We witness the events of this film as if we were flies, intruding on the private lives of these human beings. In fact, if you notice carefully, in almost every scene there's a fly lazily hovering somewhere. Are these flies a representation of us? Of our voyeuristic presence in this story?
 These flies are interesting (this is a peculiar phrase to write, I notice). They can have lots of meanings. I don't think that they are just accidentally in this film at all. After all, the film is set during the summer in Northern Italy, which is a time when there are a lot of flies so they could be there by mere chance. But I am convinced that there is a hidden meaning in them that was intended by Guadagnino. This may seem stupid since flies are such insignificant insects and are always everywhere, but, nonetheless, I believe there is something more to them. I especially believe this because of the last shot (but I'll get to this later). And so, the first hypothesis to their meaning is, as I stated above, that the flies are representations of us, voyeuristic spectators of this love affair since they themselves are just that: spies and voyeurs, always present. The second hypothesis isn't exactly a hypothesis, but their slow and lazy flight may represent the apathy of warm summer vacations, setting the tone to the bohemian atmosphere of Elio's house. And  then, on the third hypothesis, there's what perhaps is the most poetic meaning of these flies: the way that flies keep annoyingly hovering around people even when they swat them away - the feelings that Elio has for Oliver, even though he distances himself from him so he doesn't feel anything, they keep coming back - and furthermore, their lingering flight and shortness of their lifespan - the intensity and fleetingness of their love affair. Are the flies the love between Elio and Oliver itself? A short and intense love that isn't meant to live longer than a few months?
 For most of the summer, Elio maintains a certain distance or coldness from Oliver, maybe to spare himself from the pain of a certain heartbreak. But, slowly he starts to weaken and concede to his impulses. This is particularly noticeable in a particular scene where Elio plays piano for Oliver, where he shows off and jokes with his music. Soon, he is faced with the lover's dilemma: Is it better to speak or to die? Is it better to face his feelings about this man that will certainly crush his heart since it's a kind of love that isn't meant to be, or to stay shut forever?
 He speaks. "Why are you telling me this?", asks Oliver. "Because I wanted you to know", Elio answers (he says this three times to himself), and then, "Because there's no one else I can say this to but you". The veil falls, and the truth is revealed. Now, the heartbreak is an inevitability, for the truth is heart-breaking.
 Their love affair begins relatively late in the summer and is somewhat slow as if they are trying to explore their passion in a way that won't hurt them when the time comes. They contain themselves after an intense moment of "physical contact" where they kiss as if they are thirsty for each other - no, they are! But, perhaps, they don't know well how to deal with their feelings and don't want to hurt themselves.
 There's a period of coldness between the two shortly after. Elio writes to Oliver "Can't stand the silence. I need to speak to you". "Grow up, I'll see you at midnight", Oliver writes back. During that day, Elio keeps checking his watch to see how much longer he has to wait for his desire to be quenched. He checks it when he's with Marzia - played by the magnificent Esther Garrel. He checks it when they're in the town nearby. He checks it when he's having sex with her. He checks it when she leaves.
 When the time comes, Elio and Oliver can finally fulfill their desire. They are alone in a room, nobody intruding into their lives - except for us and the ever-present flies. We witness this fervent encounter. Two bodies hungry for each other. Feet playfully teasing each other. Two men madly in love. We are intruders in this scene, peeping through a keyhole that Guadagnino gives us to spy on these two lovers. But, when the time comes, the camera pans to the window and outside - we give privacy to the couple. We are voyeurs, but we also respect these two human beings madly in love with each other. This movement of the camera isn't a puritan censorship of the act of love, it's the respect of the privacy of two lovers as if they were real people and not just fictional characters, which adds a different reality to the feelings that we have towards these two men and makes them much more real. This is why, probably, we also fall for them and why this masterpiece is so unforgettable (for the people with a heart, obviously).
 "Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine", says Oliver to Elio, after they make love. What is the meaning of this titular phrase? They want to become connected, inseparable, one person, one man. That's how in love they are. They have already joined their bodies into one and mixed together physically. Now, they want to mix their identities, blur the line between who is Elio and who is Oliver. Their love is so intense they would be willing to give up their own identity for the identity of the other, switch names, switch bodies, or simply join into a single man. This is the nature of their intense and fervorous love. Thi is the kind of love every human desire. But this love of theirs is also a tragic one, for it can't last forever, and they know it. They want to hold on to the memory of each other, maybe to warm their hearts during a cold winter. This is why Elio asks Oliver to give him his shirt before he leaves.
 When Elio's mother suggests that Elio goes with Oliver to Milan, that suggestion is received with open arms by them. They want to prolong their time together as long as possible, stretch it as farthest possible.  This time in Milan, however, is only bought time. It is such a short time for the intensity of the emotions they feel for each other, and this is perfectly translated into the film. These scenes are so passionately intense and short that they are almost painful. When Oliver leaves, we are left with a hole in our hearts just like Elio. It's heart-breaking. Luca Guadagnino captures our empathy for these two characters so perfectly, it's almost frightening.
 When Elio returns home, we are introduced to what is the most touching scene I have seen in a long time. Elio sits with his father - who is played by Michael Stuhlbarg - and talks to him about Oliver. What his father tells him is one of the best fatherly advice in the history of cinema and probably one of the best monologues (and the dream of any LGBTQ person, for how accepting and understand he is). He tells Elio that he clearly felt something about Oliver and that he shouldn't repress that feeling, for it would be a shame not to feel that - "But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste". He goes on to say that Elio should live his life as he wants to but to remember, "our hearts and bodies are given to us only once", and so we should embrace our feelings and bodies at all moments, not shut them out and feel nothing. This is probably the most important message in this film - don't waste what you feel and don't repress it. Feel what you feel freely, but responsibly. Seize every moment and every feeling, for you may not feel that ever again in the same way. Carpe diem, in a way.
 On the next winter, around Christmas time, the last blow is given to Elio (and us). Oliver calls on the phone. Elio and Oliver have their last moment, over the phone. "I remember everything", says Oliver. This is one of the most heartbreaking moments in the film.
 And now the final shot. Elio crouches in front of the fireplace looking into the fire, probably recalling his memories with Oliver. He says the last farewell to Oliver. But, look! Notice the fly, hovering around Elio. The love he felt for Oliver still lingers with him. It will be with him forever. In this scene, it's much more obvious that the fly isn't accidental. And so, we are left with this image of Elio and his fly that is also us.
 Call Me By Your Name is a touching and heartbreaking love story that is relatable to everyone, no matter the sexual orientation or identity. It's one of the most beautiful films of this decade, with such stunning cinematography. It's a perfect depiction of the fervent and fleeting nature of first love. This is a movie to cry while watching because of the deep blows it gives to our hearts. How can we maintain our hearts intact with films like this?
 I'll finish this by leaving my favorite phrase from this film, as I think it perfectly portrays what this wonderful film is, and it holds so much truth in it, it almost hurts:
 "When you least expect it, Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot".