Love, Simon

Love, Simon - The film I was in need of 

 This is scary. I have never written explicitly about my sexual orientation in here. But I think this is the perfect time for it. It's scary because I'm exposing myself in a way I'm not used to, and that's something that can be dangerous. But what this film has taught me is that I shouldn't be scared. This film was so important to me because it spoke to me in such a deep and personal level. It explored so many issues that I faced and am facing and showed me that I am not alone in this world. I had seen some "gay movies" (I'm using this label, but I don't like using it because I don't think films should be labeled for the sexual orientation of their main characters) before, and each one of them taught me a lot. From Weekend to Moonlight to Call Me By Your Name. But this one helped me further because Love, Simon tells the story of a gay teenager who is faced with that thing that all LGBTQ people have to go through, known as "coming out". It was important to me because, right now, I'm in that same process. Maybe this article is a part of that process. This is not an article like the other ones I have written. It's not exactly an analysis or an opinion. I don't know exactly what to call it. But you'll see.

 Love, Simon is a heart-warming and romantic yet realistic story about a boy that is coming into terms with his homosexuality. One day, there's a post in his school's gossip blog from an anonymous student, under the pseudonym of Blue. In this post, he talks about being gay. Simon, seeing this, contacts him through email and they start to exchange messages. They, eventually, start to bond, with a certain complicity that they share. However, one day Simon forgets to log-off from his account in a library computer and Martin, one of his colleagues, finds his emails. He blackmails Simon, threatening to leak the emails if he doesn't help him get together with one of Simon's close friends. Eventually, this doesn't go too well, and Martin releases the emails and Simon is forced to confront himself - his true self.

 This film does something brilliantly. It uses the clichés that we know from this kind of teen rom-com in a way that normalizes homosexuality and portrays it truthfully. This film is a revolution in the mainstream of cinema. Finally, there is an accurate depiction of homosexuality in a mainstream romantic story. And finally, we can talk about these things without any taboos. Movies like Love, Simon are going to help millions of LGBTQ people around the world in better understanding who they are and what they are feeling.

 There is a book by Elena Ferrante called My Brilliant Friend, which is a coming-of-age story about a young girl who grew up in a poor and violent neighborhood in 1950's Naples and the hardships she faced, which has a very humanistic and realistic look at that society and the lives of the people of that time. There's a part in the book where the main character has her menarche. She is completely terrified because she doesn't understand what is happening. Nobody has told her anything or prepared her for it because of all the taboos of such a conservative society. Eventually, she talks to a friend who already had her first menstruation and she tells her what it is all about. 

 Now, we have Sexual Education in schools (at least in Europe, I'm going to be very eurocentric, sorry, but I don't know how things are taught in the rest of the world), where we learn about these things and all people can now understand their bodies a little better and expect the changes that happen during adolescence - although we can still do much better. We must also, now, be able to talk about homosexuality. Movies and stories like Love, Simon help this. Now, we can have sweet and cute stories about boys and girls finding out and going through their non-heteronormative sexuality. This will only help people. Our ability to talk about ourselves - our bodies, our minds, our lives, our society - will only help people and make our society evolve. Because nowadays (at least in some way) we talk about sex and all that comes with that to kids, the changes in our bodies and minds during our teenage years can be less terrifying (although they are still extremely terrifying and complicated). Maybe, if we talk to kids about homosexuality and transgenderism, then we can help kids to accept and understand those things better and grow up to be more understanding adults and help the kids that will face those things and make them understand and accept themselves better.

 And this is when I get to my point. Why was this film so important to me?

 So much of what is portrayed in this film was felt almost exactly the same way by me. The way I felt afraid of what people would think about me during high school if they found out. The way I felt almost jealous of gay kids who had already come out. The way I felt insecure about myself because I couldn't make myself come out because, maybe, I hadn't entirely accepted myself and my sexuality. The way my heart sank in my chest whenever I thought someone had figured me out (and the way my heart sank in my chest in the scene where Simon's emails are leaked). The way I wanted to keep things under control. I  thought I was weak and a coward for not being able to come out. I only started to come out when I was 18 years old and I thought I was a wimp because of that and I hated myself. This film is about a 17-year-old teen that is still closeted and hiding his identity. It showed me that it's never too late and that I am not a wimp. I was just scared because coming out is revealing and exposing yourself in a way that you aren't used to. When you are closeted, you are using a "straight mask" and it gives you a false sense of safety because it hides who you truly are. To forfeit this "mask" is an extremely terrifying experience. Even now, even though I have come out to many people, I still tremble and sweat from fear and stress when I do it. I am trembling and sweating right now because I am exposing myself in here in a way that I haven't done before.

 But this is who I am, and I am not ashamed anymore, or at least I don't allow that anymore. And this film, even though it's a simple love story that uses clichés that we have seen over and over again, helped me. It helped me because, finally, I was able to see those clichés in a gay relationship. Finally, I was able to see a  happy, romantic ending to a gay story. Finally, I was able to see a mainstream gay teen romance portrayed in the same light as a straight one. Finally, I was able to see those things linked with honesty and realism in a gay story, without any "straight-washing".

 We all deserve love, we all deserve happiness, we all deserve everything, and this film is a breakthrough for that. I hope this film helps as many people as possible in the same way that it helped me. I hope everyone finds the love they deserve.

 Love, Jasmim.